Deeper Than I Thought

waking up this morning
life is so much more
than i lived
love is so much more
than ive felt
and time is so precious

digging deeper in myself
i notice the layers unfold
things ive hidden
things ive blocked away
'cause to feel. . . to feel. . .
to feel is so much more
complicated

not noticing how one event can
change
everything
around me
everything
inside of me
time is so precious

and its been three
three years of
melancholy
three years of
numb
of bitterness
i miss what it was
to feel
to feel
to feel so complicated

i miss love
i miss life
i miss what means to be
free
i miss that time

Envy Me Green

Put On My Make-Up!

Eye shadow covers tears
Lies and fears behind my
Perfectly powdered
Foundation
My smile - Red paint on
The lips that speak
Words of pain

"Take a good look at my face
You see my smile looks out of place
Look a little closer - It's easy to trace
The tracks of my tears"
Tracks Of My Tears - Smokey Robinson & The Miracles

Just A Thought

It so funny!!

Just a week ago I in fairy tale land

Dream world

On cloud 11

"Fallin' in love"

MY! How quickly things change

And I seriously just don't know how to feel

I'm so angry

Hurt

Emotional

The last thing I want to do is start acting all

Eratic

Irrational

At the end of the day, I'm just

Not built for this!

I just want to love someone

And I want that someone to love me in return

I am not one for games

Not one to be toyed with

I hate having to close up

And let down

To guard up again

I wear my heart on my sleeve

I am extremely sensitive

And I hate having to be the

"Strong One"

"You love me 'cause I'm fragile

And I thought that I was strong

But you touched me for a little while

And all my fragile strength is gone

Set me free

Leave me be

I don't want to fall another moment into your

Gravity

Here I am

And I stand

So tall

Just the way I'm suppose to be

But you're onto me

And all over me"

Gravity - Sara Bareilles

Tails of a Broken Heart

Gawsh, people. .
Please stop askin' me about my Valentine's Day
Please stop wonderin' why I feel the way I do
Please stop telling me what's wrong for me
What I deserve
How much better I can do
I KNOW!

I don't know why I'm so attatched
Don't know why I continue to try
I have not cried for him in two years
I cannot believe myself

But right now I am heart broken
So please let me heal
Right now I am trying to find the words
The thoughts
To express everything I feel
Please just let me heal

It's Snowing - I'm Falling

Here I am at work

And the snow is falling

Falling like myself

And then it hits the

Ground that I don't touch

I only see 'cause I flow

Flowing through the

Wind

Like he breezes through my

Mind - It's all the time

I'm falling

Our President Is Black

Wow. . . So America has finally taken off it's blinders and got itselsf a Black president!
And not just any Black president. . .
One of intellect
Compassion
Humbleness
Instinct

When I heard about him in 2004, I automatically knew there was something special about him.
He did a speech for John Kerry and it had the power to lift you and fill you with an urgency to do something.
The way this country was ran was ridiculous and wreckless. Everything got deregulated - Including our rights. So much was lost.

But now we have a new chance! We have this new hope, this new light in us! Guiding us along this path of wisdom and new experiences.
Are you ready?

Just A Thought

It feels good to finally have a place to release

My thoughts
My emotions
My loves
My hates
My art
My life

I needed this!